If you’re not a Ramone, don’t wear jeans



I always say, blue jeans are my least favorite clothing made from 19th-century camping materials. (My favorite is an iron pot for a hat.) Jeans are default human covering. They manage to both look terrible and be invisible at the same time. They’re so invisible that no matter how blue they are they don’t count as blue clothes. A choice to wear blue jeans is a choice to not make any choice at all. And if you’re fine with having no say in how you look, then I have no idea why you’re reading this blog.

I haven’t owned a pair of blue jeans in twenty years (i.e. since I was around 18), and I’m still kind of ashamed that I did even then! Because even going back way before then, all the way back to grade school, making bold decisions about how I wanted to look was always hugely important to me. Of course, being a kid and being middle class, I didn’t have a lot of money or a lot of control over what I was able to wear, but I did my best. And jeans were part of my wardrobe, because unfortunately they are part of the Western human uniform. But oh, how I wish they weren’t.

There is one and only one look that works with blue jeans: the Ramones look. Skinny blue jeans with a leather jacket and a bad haircut, that is seriously the only look for blue jeans that I can find acceptable at all. Because wearing jeans means you don’t give a fuck, and no one didn’t give a fuck as well as the Ramones. You might think you don’t care how you look, but can you not care as much as the Ramones? I didn’t fucking think so. So don’t wear jeans. You don’t have what it takes.

Some will argue that nice, fitted, designer jeans (Diesel or whatever) are a whole different thing than boring mom/dad jeans. They are. But they’re still jeans. They’re still terrible. You’re not a Ramone. You can’t wear jeans and be awesome. Pick something that looks good and be awesome. If you won’t do it out of respect for yourself, do it out of respect for the Ramones.

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